BATU, Indonesia. Photo by Jes Aznar

Sunday, May 12, 2013


People especially the ones you love will always disappoint you.

At 11 in the evening, one night last week, as I was about to fall asleep, I received an emergency call for help. Jes and I had to look for a man I hate and love, in the streets of Manila, because he was drunk and could not find his way home.

A mixture of intense emotions welled up inside me. I was angry but worried sick. I was sad. And disappointed. I was a mess, and the mess was made worse by my inability to process things. They add to the little voices screaming in my head. I have tried to block and suppress the bitterness, anger and disappointment all these years. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail.

Indeed, people, especially those you love most, will always disappoint you. They will hurt you because they are selfish and because they are also hurt. They will hurt you because they don't love you enough, despite all the hopes you pin on them.  By this time, I have learned this by heart.